For National Purposeful Parenting Month, we’re discussing a topic that poses a universal challenge to parents: how to talk to your teenagers about drug use.

We checked in with Dorian Traube, associate professor and senior associate dean of faculty affairs, for advice on one of the trickiest parenting moments of all: how to talk to your children about drugs.

"Every family should have this conversation regardless of whether you think your child is engaging in substance use," she says. "It's just one of those fundamental parenting conversations that every child should have with their parents."

Warning Signs To Look For

The "gateway" substance for youth is often alcohol, as it tends to be more readily available in their own homes or their friends' homes. Marijuana, whose availability has always been relatively widespread, has also become more accessible with its decriminalization and legalization across many states. And if you live in a region where there is significant crystal methamphetamine production, that may also be something that's readily available in your community (and to your teen).

One sign of substance use and addiction is withdrawal from normal activities — although, it is important to note, this is a fairly common behavioral shift among non-drug using adolescents as they begin to exert their independence, and is not in itself a sure sign of substance use. Other warning signs include a sudden change in peer group, a drop in grades, bouts of lethargy (sleeping in very late or staying up very late), and noticeable physical responses like bloodshot eyes, rapid or erratic speech, and slowed or slurred speech.

When (And How) to Approach the Conversation

It’s never too soon to approach this topic with your child; after all, a 16 year old is much less apt to listen to their parents’ advice than an 11 year old who is still very much in the fold of their family. It’s best to start this conversation long before they’re in an environment where they have to make these choices.

Choose a non-confrontational environment to initiate the talk, such as in the car or while at a restaurant, and approach the topic in a compassionate, non-lecturing way. The most important thing is to remain calm throughout the whole conversation, creating a "safe" place for your child to openly discuss this issue.

As much as possible, communicate the fact that this is something all teenagers contend with. Instill the understanding that if they're going to experiment with substance use and find themselves in situations where there's pressure to drink or use drugs, they need to be able to make choices for themselves. Encourage your child to think through what their response would be at a party where drugs and alcohol are present. How can they deflect attention, decline without feeling ostracized or extract themselves from the situation?

Ask your child to select five adults with whom they feel very safe and would feel comfortable going to for help, especially if they get in trouble or feel like they need to be extracted from a situation.

If your parenting style has always been very open and honest, then it is okay to share your own experiences and lessons learned from drug use with your kids. If, however, you haven't previously been the kind of parent who shares those personal details with your child, Traube says this conversation is not the one with which to start. "They might shut down," she says. "Align your approach with your parenting strategy to date."

Finally, Traube notes that it is important to also consider your family's history of addiction — do you have relatives who have struggled with drug use? There is a proven genetic component to addiction, so making your child aware of any family history of drug use is an absolute necessity.